eversohungry | [APPOINTMENTS POST] 13 Paternoster Road

[With things slowly but surely getting back to normal, Bucky finally gets around to checking on the people he hasn't seen much of since the draft. Vastra is right at the top of that list, which is why he shows up at her door that morning instead of hailing her through the journals. He knocks, then calls out.]

Miss Vastra? You home?

[The knock is utterly unexpected. Which is why Vastra starts and looks up, alarmed, in the middle of preparing her lunch. Eyebrows coming together, Vastra strides to the door and peers through it--]

Sergeant Barnes! [Vastra's eyes go wide and her hands instinctively go to close her dressing gown. Bollocks.] What-- what is it? Is something wrong?

No, everything's fine, I ah -- [He averts his gaze politely while she closes her dressing gown.]

Thought I'd stop by, see if you wanted to have that lunch you owe me. This a bad time?

That lunch-- ah... [Vastra looks back into her "drawing space"/living room area while holding the neck of her gown closed. It's covered in dishes. Her kitchen doesn't look much better, Vastra's been eating raw meat pretty much every day and not cleaning up. It's evident, just by looking at the room, that Vastra hasn't been taking very good care of herself.]

[It's a disaster. But Vastra's from a time when people don't just show up at the door, they write or call or make an appointment. Vastra is also from a time when even if people didn't call ahead, one doesn't leave them standing in the hallway with the door shut in their face. So while she is half dressed (Protip: not by modern standards), and her apartments are a mess, it would be worse to leave Bucky outside. The wheels turn for a few seconds in her head and then she nods, resigned, and opens the door the rest of the way to let him in.]

Please come in, Sergeant. Though I am afraid I am not quite ready to entertain, I can at the very least offer you tea or coffee while I get dressed?

That's... That's alright. [The first thing Bucky notes when he steps inside isn't so much the mess as the smell. He knows what blood smells like, fresh or otherwise, and the first thing he thinks of isn't meat. He swallows, and does his best to shake the memory off.

There's plenty to focus on inside. He hopes this isn't the way Vastra usually lives, because even for a lizard woman it seems unhealthy. He clasps his hands behind his back, standing easy at parade rest.]

I should apologize for intrudin' on you like this, ma'am. To be honest, I wasn't sure you'd pick up if I called.

[For someone she ran through gunfire with, Bucky seems very tense. Vastra looks at him critically for a moment, then realizes that her kitchen and the state of her drawing room is probably making him uncomfortable. If Jenny had been there, Vastra wouldn't have a single cup out of place in her home. She normally didn't need taking care of, but when she did, Jenny was always there to do it.]

Ah, that's an apt assessment. I'm not certain I would have noticed. [Vastra strides easily into the kitchen and starts opening windows and sliding dishes and a cutting board into the sink. She plugs it and leaves it to fill up while opening the windows in the drawing room and picking up her cups and plates in there as well.]

I haven't been entirely myself lately.

Who could blame you?

[The draft hits everyone hard, combatant or no. He'd thought the war was hard, but there are things out there that no one should have to experience, and then there's worse.

Bucky shifts his weight, and after a moment he reaches for a nearby cup and saucer to help tidy up.] This was your first draft here, right?

Yes-- [She hurries back from the kitchen to take the cup from Bucky--not that she isn't happy for the help, but it's somewhat embarrassing that it's gotten to the point where she needs extra hands. Because:]

This was by no means my first battle, though. I'm sure you picked up on that. It shouldn't be any different from the others I've fought my way through.

[The last of the dishes cleared from the drawing room, Vastra sets them back in the still-filling sink and stares at the swaying surface of the water. Wheels turning, trying to figure outcomes, biting back on words that perhaps she shouldn't say--]

...then again, I've never had to attack and kill something that looks like my wife before.

[Bucky follows after her. It's strange to see Vastra like this - despite her appearance, she can be very human. Painfully so. Or maybe pain is just a universal kind of thing. He doesn't know.

What he does know is, he's been where she is. So has Natasha. And if either of them had figured out how to make this any better by now, he'd be telling her the secret.]

Miss Vastra... I was a soldier in one of the bloodiest wars in human history, but there are things here that... nothing prepares you for.

[He steps in beside her, trying to catch her eye.]

Hey. It wasn't her. You know that, even if you don't feel it.

[Vastra looks up only when Bucky steps beside her, looking up at him with an extremely hesitant and vulnerable gaze. While she is indeed a different species, and swears up and down that she doesn't like the 'society of apes', certain things are universal. Species capable of love were also capable of hurt, and worry.]

I know. I know it wasn't her, it was so far a reach from her. Nothing could properly imitate her, she's so bloody unpredictable sometimes. [Vastra forces a weak laugh and reaches to stop the water filling the sink.]

If this is the sort of thing I am to expect while living here, though, I wish she were here to help. Married life has turned me dependent in some aspects. Is that surprising?

Are you askin' me if I'm surprised you want to be around the woman you're clearly crazy about? [Bucky gives her a look.] In a place like this, we all need people to lean on, Miss Vastra. Even those of us who don't like to admit it.

[There's a wry twist to his lips. He would be one of those people too, after all. He leans back against the edge of the counter, and inclines his head, curious.]

I don't suppose you'd tell me about her. The real deal, I mean.

No... [She shifts uncomfortably, then finally settles on shrugging one shoulder.] I simply feel that I projected a certain air of independence that is very much lacking right now. [But he's right of course: Vastra knows it isn't strange to want to be with a loved one. But aside from Jenny, Strax, and the Doctor, she didn't have terribly many friends or people to lean on. She wasn't used to leaning on anyone at all.]

She is... the most fascinating human I have ever met. [Vastra finally says, smiling up at Bucky. No coaxing necessary when it comes to talking about Jenny.] While in London, I always have to wear a veil to avoid unwanted attention. Some faint at the sheer sight of me. But when we met, after I killed the men assaulting her, she saw my face and flinched. Of course she would--but she didn't scream and run. She thanked me. [A tired, almost ancient look passes over Vastra's face as she tilts her head slightly at Bucky.] It had been millenia since someone had said that to me. Perhaps I fell in love at that moment, I can't be certain. I just know that with every lock she picked, every criminal she threw over her shoulder, and every dangerous situation she ran with me into, I felt less and less alone in the world. I felt grateful to have been awoken at that specific place in that specific time, because she was waiting on the other end of a sixty-five million year sleep to welcome me back to the world with open arms. Instead of guarded mistrust of a creature.

The expression of love is a willingness to place absolute trust in another person, isn't it? And even if it wasn't her, even if I was being deceived, that image of me violating that faith she places in me will never, ever leave me Sergeant.

[Bucky smiles as she speaks. It's small, but genuine. Even more than the words, he can hear it in her voice, and in the way her expression changes when she speaks. That's what love looks like, no matter what you are, apparently.]

She sounds like an amazing woman. And you're right, that image won't ever leave you. A lot of things about it won't ever leave you. Trust me, I know. [His tone is even, but he swallows before he speaks again.]

But you've gotta understand, at least in your head, that the only way you could violate her trust is by not fighting some creature that thought it'd be a laugh to put on her face for a while and try to kill you. That's all it was. Are you really gonna let these bastards pretend some trick can hold a candle to the woman you just told me about?

[Vastra looks hesitantly at Bucky, then back at the mess in the sink. By all accounts, she's already let them affect her too much. But she's never been one to admit defeat, or suggest that Jenny wouldn't want her to be alive and well.]

No. I'm not. [She gives Bucky a small, tired smile.] I did not mean for this to be so serious. And I certainly did not mean to remind you of the things you can't forget, either.

Let me get dressed and take you out to lunch. I need something stronger than what I have here, too.

Good. [He shakes is head at her almost-apology.] Hey, don't even think about it. I barged in on you after all.

And anyway, that's the thing about stuff you can't forget: it's always there. [He spreads his arms in a what can you do sort of gesture.]

Take your time. I can do some washing up while you're at it, if you don't mind a hand.

Yes... [Vastra nods slightly, swallowing down her sadness and pining. There isn't anything she can do except be faithful and hold what true memories she has close.]

I don't mind, however do not feel obligated to play as my maid, Sergeant. [Vastra chuckles as she glides off in the direction of her bedroom.]

Your aprons probably don't flatter my skin tone anyway!

[He can't say he's fond of housework, but Vastra is a friend, and it grates on him that there isn't really much he can do for her here, so he'll settle for trying to help her out. He drapes his jacket over the back of a chair and unbuttons his cuffs so he can roll up his sleeves and get to work.

When Vastra gets back, he'll be elbow-deep in soapy water humming When the Saints go Marching In. It seems like a better choice of entertainment than questioning the blood smears on some of the plates.]

[Vastra comes back, about half an hour later, dressed for lunch and looking a little more alert. She looks over his progress on the dishes and flashes a small smile.]

I can take care of the rest, Sergeant. It may not look it, but I am able to keep my rooms clean.

[Bucky turns to glance at her when she re-enters the room, and does a double take because that's gotta be one of the most elaborate outfits he's ever seen. Granted, he's seen Vastra all dressed up before, it's just hard to get accustomed to clothes that look like they're worth more than everything he and Steve ever owned.

Strangely enough, it suits her. He wonders if he should be worried that the fancy dress seems more unusual to him than the lizard lady wearing it.]

I... don't doubt that, ma'am. You look nice.

[It takes him a minute to wrap things up and pull his jacket back on. He inclines his head at the door.] Shall we?

[Vastra allows herself a small, happy smile at Bucky's double-take. If nothing else, the clothes she has in Luceti keep her memories of home alive, and Vastra does enjoy looking spectacular. Which means dresses. Lots of spectacular dresses.]

Thank you, Sergeant. I do try to look my best when going out. [Vastra casts a glance back towards the sink as Bucky is getting his jacket. It was a little... pink. That was more than uncomfortable, but perhaps Bucky hadn't thought too hard about what Vastra might have been eating... She could only hope. It wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with too many people. Natasha had been unavoidable.]

Yes, let's. [She puts on another smile and heads for the door, picking up a hat with a long black veil on it.] I would say it is my treat, however the lack of a bill puts a severe damper on that.

[APPOINTMENTS POST] 13 Paternoster Road

April 14th | Action

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.........you were just waiting to use that icon, weren't you.

/innocent whistle

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