eversohungry | [APPOINTMENTS POST] 13 Paternoster Road

[That request, Vastra doesn't expect. Maybe she should have, given she had just gotten through telling Eugene his heart was one of the biggest she'd ever seen. She doesn't have an answer for him, she's quiet as Eugene runs around her apartment trying to fix her.]

[She can't leave him. She can't leave him, or Jack, or Max, or Natasha, or Bucky, or Loki and Rogue, or any of them. But the events that had led her to this point still hurt so badly, and there was no one she felt she could turn to for help. Vastra functioned as Jack and Eugene's mother, she couldn't burden them with her invisible struggles. Loki and Rogue, Natasha and Bucky, they were hurting as well, and in no shape to prop her up. It wasn't in Loki's nature anyway. And Max? Max had been absolutely frantic that day he'd seen her with her 'family'.]

[Asking for help wasn't something Vastra did, anyway. She was fiercely independent, resourceful, the backbone of the Paternoster Gang. So even though she was an expert at pinpointing what someone else might need, she couldn't do it for herself.]

I am far from an abused child. I am about as far from that as one can get. [Vastra rolls onto her side, noticing Eugene putting the kettle on. That would help, yes, but it wouldn't fix the most immediate problem.]

...Eugene, there's some meat in the icebox. Unwrap it and bring it here, would you?

['Some' is an understatement. There is almost nothing but raw meat in the refrigerator. Oh there's some other, more normal things in there for when she has guests, but if Eugene had ever wondered what Vastra's usual diet is like there's no guessing now.]

[As the dutiful son, he really had no reason to doubt her. Upon opening her ice box he did have to jerk back a little. Meat, itself, wasn't reason to be startled, but the amount of... he wondered if he actually knew enough about Vastra at all to be considered as close to her as he thought. Still, he followed instructions, taking some meat and unwrapping it as he approached her.]

I meant it as an example, I mean. You've... got a lot to live for even if...

[He did falter, thinking about if he lost Jack. Hearing someone say something like that so carelessly... It would be meaningless, because his heart would be so irrevocably broken that... He silenced himself and placed the meat on a plate. It seemed like the right thing to do, in any case.]

I'm sorry. I know, if I lost Jack, I don't think I'd be strong enough to do what I'm asking you to do for me but... Tell me how I can help you.

[Vastra has to smile when Eugene even brings her a plate, but she supposes that's the only thing he can do to make the situation normal. As a rule, Vastra kept her eating habits to herself. Only Natasha knew, and that was only because Natasha had snuck up on Vastra mid-meal. Vastra knew that someone in Luceti would panic if it was revealed that Vastra ate humans whenever the opportunity presented itself, and so it was her secret and she did everything she could to keep up appearances.]

[But if she was going to get well, her body needed its usual diet. Vastra took the plate with as much strength as she could muster, and brought it close to her on the sofa.]

You have to go back to the kitchen for at least three minutes, and keep your back to me. Then, we can have tea, and I will try to articulate what can be done to help this condition. At this moment, I'm not certain what that is, but talking may help to organize my thoughts.

[Despite the overwhelming evidence in favor of her eating humans, the thought hadn't crossed Eugene's mind. Mainly on account of knowing Jenny was a human, and he had seen Vastra eat other things before, hadn't he? Confusion played over his features, and his lips had begun to shape the question of 'why' before he thought better of it.

If Vastra needed him to leave her be and turn away while she ate, if it would make her condition improve, he'd take it at face value. Standing up straighter, he turned and went into the kitchen, cleaning where he could in the time of neglect it had faced. It really was his respect for Vastra that overcame his curiosity to look, to question. It wasn't blind obedience in the slightest.]

Talking usually begins the process to improving, in most cases.

[He did have another glance in the ice box, wondering if the meat within was even still adequate for consumption as long as he hadn't seen her. ]

[Vastra waits until Eugene is in the kitchen, then looks back down at the plate and wills herself to eat. She only has three minutes, after all. But she doesn't wolf the meat down, her stomach turns at the thought of being full. It's a small piece, comparatively though, so she makes short work of it. There's very little sound, too--just some soft sounds of tearing meat. Not even chewing.]

[When she's done, she sets the empty plate on the coffee table and lays back on the couch.]

I believe this is one of those cases. I've been angry, and I've cried, and it hasn't done much of anything.

[Ravenous eating wasn't something he felt too oddly around being, on account of having to live on rations for a few years. He keeps to his promise and closes the ice box without taking a look in at her while she ate.

Primarily, he was more concerned about her recovery. But he did listen when she spoke, moving closer to where she was]

You know that... well, shifts aside, having you as a maternal figure was one of the best things I can say about this place. And considering how hideous home is, that's pretty high up there. You know if there's anything I can do all you have to do is ask. Inaction isn't because I don't want to help, it's...

[He shrugged, grinning a little out of nervousness and a fondness he hadn't been able to give a name to]

I dunno how. For whatever reason I thought you'd like cake and tea and instead the fridge is full of meat...

[He figured she would be up front enough with him to tell him if she didn't prefer dairy. At all. Even if that was utterly beside the point.]

...I'll listen. Even if I don't have any way to make anything better.

[Vastra smiles again faintly and shrugs.] I'm surprised I've kept it secret from you this long, Eugene. Like many lizards in your world, I am a carnivore primarily. I do enjoy all sorts of foods, however I garner most of my nutrition from protein. After starving myself, I need that most of all. It isn't a matter of you not knowing well enough how to help, Eugene. You're helping very much right now.

[She reaches for Eugene's hand and gestures for him to sit by her.] Listening will help very much. Where were you earlier in October?

[So, carnivorous food would be far more applicable to keeping her healthy and... relatively happy than, say, cupcakes. He could deal with this, and it would give him a valid excuse to try out a few new culinary delights. The further implications of what meat was included, he'd let slide. There were worse things to be, and he'd seen that first-hand.

Sitting beside her after taking her hand, Eugene scritched the back of his head to remember.]

Working, basically. There seems to have been something happened to most of the people here in Luceti that's kind of mercifully missed me and Jack. But there's been a lot of oddities happening recently. Everyone's on edge emotionally...

I am glad it missed you, whatever it was.

[She pauses, holding Eugene's hand, wondering where to begin or if she should even explain. Talking would be the only way, though. Eugene couldn't guess.]

For a few days, I was convinced I had everything I wanted. I was retired, the universe and time was relatively safe, I was accepted here, Jenny was here. We had adopted a son.

[She squeezes Eugene's hand.] It felt so real.

Me, too, truth be told. [If it had shaken Vastra, he knew it had to be something proportionally horrid. He squeezed her hand in return, clasping its twin over top]

Is it like how... when we shifted before and you were my mom? That's still not gone away.

[A grin followed, soft and not meant to be mocking at all, but if he didn't tease her, there was something deathly wrong with their relationship]

So do I have a new brother? I don't mind, just so long as I get to boss Max around still.

You may want to reserve your bullying to Max. A grown man pushing around a seven year old child might look a little too deplorable. [Vastra tries to smile, but it never reaches her eyes.]

How many more times am I going to lose her, Eugene? I never imagined I would fall to anything so slow as this has been, but I feel nearly broken by this.

How old do you think Jack is?

[But all jokes aside, his smile dissolved slowly when he heard her speak further, confide and ask. Scooting a little closer, he kept quiet for a moment, but it was a contemplative sort of quiet. Choosing his words carefully]

I can't say. The Malnosso are so adept at their crafting of worlds that it could be many more times. As much as I wish it weren't so, I can't lie to you about that possibility. But... I suppose, if it matters at all, none of this is in fact real.

[Ultimately, useless consolation, the feelings were real enough to devastate]

They've left you nearly, but not broken. This won't be forever. Would it help if we try to figure out a way to get you home to her?

[Because when it came right down to it as much of a bond as he had for Vastra, he'd be willing to do what it took to send her home if it would make her happy]

It is very real, Eugene. [Vastra frowns deeply at him.] Simply because this is a pocket universe, and that when we are returned we don't remember anything, does not make this unreal.

[That said, she takes a deep breath and lets it out.] I would love that dearly. However I couldn't leave you both behind.

[He felt like he'd been scolded, and even if he had, thinking it hadn't been real was one of the few things keeping his reality from unwinding. Vastra, though, she was far stronger than he could ever actually be]

What would Jenny want you to do? I mean, objectively. Would she want to see you in this place because of her?

[It would be a question that he'd expect to be asked if he were in a similar state, Jack absent from his life. Because he knew without a shred of doubt that Jack wouldn't want it for him, and that his memory was best served living life to the full... It wasn't asked to be cruel or reprimanding]

[APPOINTMENTS POST] 13 Paternoster Road

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